Frozen
by Azarathian Angel
Summary: He wanted to die.A world without Lucrecia wasn't worth living in...And with each endless echo of the falling water, the cold crept deeper into his core.The feeling was the most horrid of tortures— frost spreading across his heart, slowing his breathing...
1. Chapter 1

A/N:

Because my love for Vincent Valentine and stories that make me cry as I write them seem to break through my procrastinating habits… I give you this:

——

With each endless echo of the falling water, the cold crept deeper into his core. The feeling was the most horrid of tortures — frost slowly spreading across his heart, slowing his breathing…

Without a thought, he stepped forward in the dim cave, unable to remember standing. Did it really matter? New memories never formed, never took shape. All he had were the old memories, reminiscent of a time long since past.

But then again, those memories faded as well — nothing but a vapor he had managed to contain for a short while — nothing but snow right before the spring.

He pondered these things as the eerie glow of the crystals set the cave in a pale blue light, reflecting in the puddles below. The sound of his footsteps echoed in the large cavern, and his stomach twisted as he looked up at the angelic figure, frozen in the shining, clear stone that surrounded her.

Did she feel the chill of winter? He almost asked aloud, before remembering how silent she had been lately.

Not a whisper. Not a word. No matter how many times he came to visit her in this tomb.

As the wind outside began to howl, he came to the edge of the water, his reflection meeting hers in the dark surface. He almost took a step back, ashamed of the contrast between them.

His dark, red eyes against her pale, closed lids. His scowling face against hers that held a deep but peaceful sorrow. His darkness… in the shadow of her light.

Clothed in white, she was the picture of beauty, as she had always been. While he, the cursed monster — the demon that intruded upon her sleep, could only hope it was not a sin to think of such a holy figure.

"…_cent_."

He looked up to her still face, only ten feet away as his breath caught in his throat. And, again, the whisper filled the cave.

"…_incent_." The soft sound was weak, barely audible. "_Vincent_..."

"I'm here." He winced at his deep growl of a voice.

She did not reply.

The silence engulfed him once more, and his breath became unsteady. He suppressed a shiver in the cold air of the cavern, looking down to his feet as his ears strained to hear her voice once more.

His eyes caught the slightest flicker of movement in the water below — the smallest ripple across the surface. It was then that he saw the ice forming around the edge of the pool, growing quickly across the face of the water. He took a half-step back, startled at the sudden movement.

"…_don't_…" He looked up once more as her voice filled the room. "…_understand_."

_Understand what?_

"Lucrecia?" He could feel the cold disappear for a brief moment as her name left his lips.

She was silent again, and he heard only the howling wind outside muffling the quiet crackling of the ice forming around the pool. By now, the surface of the water had completely frozen over in only a matter of seconds.

It was an odd occurrence, but his focus was instead on the pallor of her face. He blinked a few times, feeling himself shiver slightly.

Had she always been this pale?

"_Vincent_!"

No longer a whisper, her soft voice sounded like a shout in the silent cave. He held completely still, no longer daring to breathe.

And suddenly… he felt a pull on his heart. It was almost literal — a slight tugging that urged him forward. His lungs eventually protested, and he took in a ragged breath as he shook his head at her. He was at the edge of the pool already, the tip of his gold boot knocking in a small pebble as he inched closer.

"_Vincent…"_

Again, her voice sounded more desperate, more pleading…

She wanted him to come closer — yet how? Between them was about ten feet of water, covered by a thin layer of ice. If he were to cross it and the ice were to break, he would undoubtedly freeze to death.

His thoughts paused for a moment at that realization.

Something about it sounded… familiar.

Before he could place it, he felt the tugging again, and the pain — the longing it caused him was worse than any chilling water he might feel.

Hesitantly, he stepped out onto the ice, waiting for the moment he would fall through.

Another step… and he managed to take another breath. His boots provided _some _traction, but he could feel his heart pounding in his ears.

Maybe he was insane.

Yet another step.

Was she really calling him?

Another, and he nearly lost his footing.

Perhaps it was all in his head…

"…_missed…_" He looked up to her face, only an arm's length away, hidden behind the crystals that encased her body. "…_you."_

One more step, and he was standing in front of her, looking up into her cold, sleeping face.

"I've been here," he replied, confusion washing over his emotionless features.

His heart grew heavy as she fell silent once more. Why had she called him out here? What did distance matter for them? She couldn't — would _not_ come out, so what did it matter that he was only a few feet closer?

With a chilled breath, he lifted his hand, softly brushing the clear stone that surrounded the body of the only woman he had ever loved — or ever would.

"Lucrecia…" His voice choked as he pulled back his hand, shutting his eyes tightly while fighting the shivers that wracked his body.

He opened his crimson eyes slightly before they widened at the sight before him. He quickly lifted his hand, confused at what he saw.

Bare skin. A pale white. Hard and rough. Blue veins visible just beneath the surface.

Shaken, he placed his hand once more on the crystal, looking up to her face in tentatively.

This time, he saw it.

A white mist — a clouded light surrounded his arm, the rest of his glove disappearing as it crept across his body. Warmth swelled within his chest, spreading down to his feet. He closed his eyes for only a moment, opening them to find a familiar blue cloth had replaced the dark leather.

A suit.

He looked up, startled to find a forgotten face reflecting back in the glassy surface.

Shorter, dark hair that was still long by many standards. A shocked expression on a face that held less pain, less years.

He stepped back, nearly tripping as he looked even higher, expecting to see her still figure in the crystal. Yet… she had disappeared.

"Lucrecia!" He found himself shouting her name as he spun around, slipping, but making it to the edge of the pool once more.

The voice that echoed back was his own, but lighter, more emotional.

His chest ached as he panicked, spinning around as he searched for her. His breath came out in painful gasps, the air filling with a light mist as he did so.

Where had she gone? How could this have happened?

This face…

He looked down at his reflection in a puddle near his now _black _boots.

…It was as if the last thirty years had never happened.

"You've gotten older, Vincent Valentine."

His breathing ceased. His heart stopped. He couldn't move.

Her voice… her real voice… no longer in a vision or dream, but…

"Lucrecia," he breathed, turning from the crystal pillar as his eyes fell upon her.

A slight smile gracing her lips, she paced back and forth, her hands behind her back as she usually did. "Certainly not in body, but in spirit at least." She stopped to smile a genuine grin, her cheeks a rosy color.

At the sound of her voice, the cold disappeared completely. His hands trembled, but no longer from the cold. The way she walked… the way she held herself as she talked to him…

Every detail came rushing back to him.

"Why is that, do you think?" She took a step _toward _him now.

"W- what?" The sound was odd in his ears — he had not stuttered in… thirty years.

She stepped across the uneven ground, somehow keeping her balance in her red heels, as she always had. "Why," she started as she stopped a few feet away to look at him sadly. "Why are you doing this?"

He shook his head, feeling his shorter hair brushing his forehead.

"Doing what?" he asked, stepping closer to her, bewildered.

She sighed, folding her hands in front of her white coat, hanging her head slightly. "Vincent," she said as if she were scolding him. "Don't act so childish."

He opened his mouth, lost for words. Was this a dream? Nothing was making sense anymore…

Suddenly, a bright light exploded to his right, next to her unmoving form. When his vision cleared, he stepped back, tripping on the lose stones. His fingers scrambled for hold on the ground as he tried to get back, stunned at what had just appeared.

"Do you understand, Vincent?" She stood next to the form calmly, gesturing.

His chest felt as if it were about to burst as his lungs cried out for oxygen. That… It couldn't be… Could it?

The dark figure cloaked in shadow was sitting on the ground, one arm resting on a raised knee. Eyes slightly closed, they looked down to the ground, just below the center of the pool. The body was covered in frost, pale skin now a deathly bluish white.

It was those eyes that haunted him — blood red, but no longer bright. There were dull — lifeless.

"That's…" he choked out, standing once more, though hunched over as if he were about to fall again. "That's not…"

"Vincent," she called, standing solemnly as she watched his reaction. "This is what you've come to? Letting yourself die?"

Die?

He shook his head franticly, his eyes screwed shut.

The cold was returning…

He remembered walking into the mouth of the cave, escaping the wind of the snowstorm. The chill had made its way into the cavern nonetheless.

…It was crawling back into his chest, freezing his heart.

Shelke — she had warned him about the storm. But he hadn't cared… he had needed to see her. See Lucrecia.

One last time.

"No!" He fell to his knees, in pain once more.

His chest ached, but not because he now remembered — remembered what he had come to do. No, his distress was from the horrible realization that _this… _this _moment _was nothing but a dream his mind was clinging to as it died.

"Vincent!"

He heard her shout, from behind him now, but he couldn't find the strength to look at her just yet.

"After _all _I did to keep you alive," her voice was upset, pained. "You're going to throw it away for nothing now?"

His hands trembling, he stood suddenly, turning on his heel to look at her.

"For nothing?" he shouted, the sound echoing loudly off the cavern walls. "For _nothing?_"

He closed the gap between them in an instant, placing his hands on her shoulders. "I would _never…_" He shook his head, gasping. "…not for nothing."

He looked into her deep eyes, his grip tightening on her. "For you," he murmured. "To be with you!" His voice rose slightly with each word.

She stared at him unresponsively for a few agonizing moments before she spoke.

"You want to die, Vincent."

It wasn't a question, though he answered nonetheless.

"Yes," he growled.

——

With a pained gasp, Shelke sat upright on the little cot in the darkness of the room. As her eyes adjusted, her heartbeat slowly calmed as she remembered where she was. She looked over to her left to make sure she hadn't woken the two children, still asleep in their beds. The boy slept silently, but the young girl who was visiting… Marlene twitched in her sleep fitfully.

Her emotionless face was illuminated by the moonlight streaming in through the window, and she made sure to open the door as silently as she could.

Did she have much time?

Though in a rush, she descended the stairs slowly but with difficulty. Each step had a creak, a low moaning that would surely give her away. Outside, the chilling December wind shook the windows in their frames, making her jump.

No, not much time at all, she reasoned.

She jumped down to the last step, running around the bar in the darkness towards the door. With a cry of surprise, she knocked over a barstool painfully. Biting her lip, she stood on one foot while holding the other with her hand. She shook her head with a sigh.

She had to hurry.

Finally, she found the coat rack by the back door, feeling around for her tan jacket. She searched the floor for her matching boots, hidden somewhere in the mess of shoes on the rug. Where…?

The light overhead switched on without warning, and she looked up into Tifa's curious, not to mention tired, face.

"Shelke?" She put a hand on her hip, the other brushing her dark hair out of her eyes with a yawn. "What are you doing?"

Stupid barstool.

"I…"

Cloud appeared behind her now as well, nearly half asleep but with the same emotionless face he always carried.

"Going somewhere?" he asked, crossing his arms.

She stood quickly, brushing herself off as she sighed, looking up at their questioning faces.

"Vincent is in trouble."


	2. Chapter 2

He understood now… He understood that this was no longer real.

… The cavern, the blue crystals, the cold chill… Yes, these existed.

But the beauty speaking to him, pacing back and forth upon the rocky ground?

No.

"Vincent," she whispered desperately.

He stood with his hands curled into fists as his side, hanging his head in shame.

"Can't you tell me why?" She put her hands on her stomach, looking as if she were about to cry. "What has changed?"

He drew in a jagged breath, his red eyes meeting hers. "I'm…" His hands trembled awfully. "I can't keep going," he said quietly.

"But Vincent," she cried. "You always have! When others would have given up, _you survived._"

"That's my point!"

She fell silent, and he was immediately ashamed for raising his voice.

"Lucrecia…" he walked over to her once again, taking her hands in his. "I feel as though I cannot die. This is my eternal punishment! My _hell _on earth…"

"A world where you are silent… where I—" He swallowed painfully, looking down into her distressed face. "It's just not worth living in."

——

Trudging through the snow nearly an hour later in the dark of night, Shelke's lungs cried out as she made it to the top of the hill. Most of the small waterfalls that surrounded the mouth of the cave had frozen over, but the cold spray of the few that still ran felt like knives upon her cheeks.

"Shelke!"

She heard Tifa's voice shouting over the wind behind her, but she continued on, her arms wrapped around her body.

"Are you sure he's here?" Tifa stopped for a moment, looking to Cloud for support as she shivered. "Do you really think he'd be up here? In _this_?"

Cloud sighed, looking up to the cave, unsure. "Shelke," he called as she turned for a moment, her orange hair whipping around in the wind. "Bring him back. Got it?"

She nodded as Tifa grabbed his arm. "Are you crazy? You can't just leave her out here!"

"This is between her and Vincent." He glanced at her for a moment before walking back down the hill. "He's more likely to listen to her if we aren't there."

Tifa stood with an exasperated look, worrying as she stood in snow up to her knees.

"What if he's not there?" She shouted at the back of his blond head.

"Then she'll come back," he answered without stopping.

Tifa sighed, complying after looking back for a moment to see Shelke's form disappear into the cave.

Inside, the wind that had nearly pulled her scarf from her neck was kept at bay, but the temperature was still piercingly cold. She had never stepped foot _in _the cavern before. Where could he be?

With a shiver, she walked deeper into the darkness, comforted by the dim bluish lights of what she guessed to be crystal up ahead. This was Vincent's place… his sanctuary, and _hers. _It felt wrong to intrude upon it, but she could not deny what she had felt.

That connection… that odd link between her mind and that of Dr. Crescent's had pulsated. For a short moment, she had felt the agonizing pain of the woman's heart, but it had been no memory.

He was here. And something horrible had happened.

She was sure of it.

After only a few moments, she came upon his sitting form and, a bit farther, a saintly figure suspended in a pillar of crystal. She looked out upon this scene in confusion, though her stoic face did not show it. Had she been wrong?

"Vincent Valentine," her monotonous voice rang.

No reply.

She took a step closer, noticing the ice that had formed on his crimson cape. Making her way around his motionless figure, she narrowed her eyes as she saw his face, a deathly white.

He looked as if he were about to fall asleep — eyes partially shut, expressionless face…

"Vincent." She said his name again, hoping for at least a sigh or a flicker of his eyes.

When he did neither, she turned slightly to look back at the ghostly woman clothed in white.

_What has happened to him?_

"He has a death wish."

Unshaken, Shelke looked over to the flickering image standing next to her.

"Unfortunately, quite literal."

At the sight of her white lab coat, brown tresses pulled back, and pale complexion, Shelke sighed loudly.

"_And here I thought I was regaining _control_ of my mind,_" she muttered as she gazed at the woman with her cold blue eyes. "What do you mean by that?"

The older woman stood with her hands folded, head hanging as if in shame.

"You are… his friends," she said quietly, her voice fading as her image seemed to shimmer. "You must convince him… this isn't the way it has to be."

Shelke stood for a moment longer before looking back at the gunman, covered in a few days' worth of frozen mist. "Ah," she sighed. "He wishes to die then."

"…_tell_…" The image — the vision had finally disappeared, and the voice echoed from the center of the cave. "…_him_."

Shelke shook her head at him, upset though she refused to show it. "I thought you were _smarter_ than this, Vincent Valentine." She walked around him now, hoping he could hear her.

"Letting yourself freeze to death? I'm sure you could have come up with something better…" His face held no reaction, but she continued. "Then again, the usual… Well, a gun certainly wouldn't work, now would it? No, no, Deepground already tried _that _one."

She persistently walked around his form, trying to get a response.

"I suppose you can't starve to death, can you? I don't think I've ever seen you eat anything before." Shelke stepped around a smaller crystal growing out from a crack in the ground. "I guess the typical attempts would do nothing to you. Far too strong of a body."

She stopped as she came full circle, bending down to look at his face. "Don't you see how foolish you're being? Sure, you could stay here until you eventually die… maybe years — decades from now when all of those experiments just can't keep you alive anymore…" She frowned when he did not answer, growing more upset. "But what about us?"

Her fingers curled into fists.

"What about your friends?" Her voice shook for once. "Do we suddenly not matter to you? How can you be so childish, Vincent?"

His eyes moved only slightly, flickering to her face for a short moment before returning to the ground.

"Have you listened to a word I've said?"

No response.

Shelke, now infuriated, stomped her foot on the ground. As the sound and its echo faded, she waited for him to say something… but he did not.

With tears in her eyes, she slapped him.

Emotion washed over his face for a moment as he opened his mouth as if to say something. His eyes moved around the room, almost like he did not remember where he was.

"Well?" She crossed her arms.

——

She had slapped him, and he was surprised to find he felt the pain.

"Don't be so dramatic, Vincent!" Her brown bangs swung back and forth as she yelled at him. "You have a family now… what would your friends do without you?"

He regained his composure, glaring at the floor.

"Live," he replied. "Just as they did _before _me. It will not matter that I am gone."

She sighed, throwing her hands up in the air as she walked away.

He watched her go, too weak to follow. This was just a vision… it wasn't as if she were really here… So why could he feel her touch? Her cool skin? The cold air? Pain?

Perhaps he had finally lost his sanity.

"The more you come here…" she started, gazing up to the now empty crystal in the center of the cave. "The more it's slowly killing you."

"Lucrecia…" He walked over to her, looking down into her soft face. "Why have you done _this_…" He glanced at the crystal. "..to yourself? What's keeping you from freeing yourself?"

It had been almost a year since she had stopped apologizing, finally forgiving herself, he assumed.

She looked up into his eyes with sadness. "Thirty years ago, the Jenova cells in my body kept me from my attempted suicides. This was my only option to… escape." She looked down into the water, staring at her reflection. "I am a coward. I always have been."

"Don't—"

"But since then, they have begun breaking down my strength… my body." She glanced at him once more. "I felt it… four years ago when you told me— when I spoke with you."

She sighed. "It is simple. If I leave the crystal, I will die."

He was silent, unable to form the simplest of words.

"That is why _you…_"She spoke with vigor as she placed a hand on his arm. "Vincent, _you _can't throw your life away so easily! Do you not see what it's worth?"

He opened his mouth for a moment before shutting it quickly. What could he say?

"I…" He shook his head, closing his eyes.

Her soft touch on his arm suddenly became stronger… colder.

And, with a cry, he was unwillingly thrown back into reality.

——

She let go of his arm when his body jerked back. As if he had just woken from a nightmare, he lifted his gaze to the young woman standing next to him in confusion.

"Shelke?" He suddenly broke out into a fit of coughing, having not used his voice in days.

She stepped back, giving him some space as she crossed her arms. "You shouldn't be so careless," she spat. "If you really want to waste away here, then by all means _do._"

She walked past him, not bothering to help him up. "Just remember," she called back, turning slightly. "Remember your friends back in Edge. Think about _us,_ Vincent, before you do anything rash."

He blinked a few times, his body shaking uncontrollably.

"Believe it or not, we would miss you."

He heard her voice growing more distant with each passing second.

A dream? It had truly been a dream?

He tried to stand, but fell back down to his knees in an instant. Black leather saved him from several cuts and scratches from the fall.

Yes, he was back in his regular clothing. And Lucrecia…

He glanced up at the crystal in the middle of the pool as he managed to stand to his feet unsteadily.

She was back where she had always been… cold, sleeping…

Again, the shivering returned, and he couldn't find the strength to fight it. His strength was _dying_… Perhaps returning to Edge…

The idea disgusted him. He didn't need to be taken care of…

At least, not usually.

With a shaking breath, he stood completely straight, gazing over at her form with a saddened look. The hollowness… the agonizing emptiness he felt upon entering the cave still remained. Nothing had changed.

Shaking his head, he turned to leave, his red cape fluttering in the wind that managed to escape into the cave.

"…_no longer…"_

He stopped, pain flooding his heart as he turned. What did she have to say to him?

"…_hold_…" she whispered peacefully. "…_and rest_."

Suddenly, his stomach twisted. Something wasn't right.

A large cracking noise rang out in the emptiness of the cave, affirming his suspicions.

"No—" His sharp whisper followed it as he ran to the edge of the pool. The ice managed to stay intact as the crystal above began to crack… several small lines, like spiders' webs, were creeping out from the largest break.

"Lucrecia!"

At the sound of his grieved voice, Shelke paused at the mouth of the cave, watching from a distance.

Meanwhile, the fractures were beginning to grow. Larger pieces fell to the sides from the pillar, smashing holes into the ice below. Without hesitation, he ran out onto the ice, miraculously keeping his balance. His cape settled around his shoulders as he can to a sudden stop, looking up into her face as the crystal fell away from her body.

What was she doing?

"Stop," he cried, fists at his side.

And then… she fell away, unconscious in her sleep-like state. He caught her easily, trying not to hurt her with his clawed hand. The moment he did so, however, the ice beneath his feet gave way, and they both plunged into the freezing water.

He managed to find some footing on the bottom, but the chilling liquid came nearly to his neck… and he couldn't keep her out of the water until he reached the edge of the pool.

Though his arms were trembling and his legs had gone numb, he did not stop moving until the water was below his knees. He collapsed at this point, holding her limp body in his arms as they shook.

"Lucrecia…" His voice trembled horribly, and he could barely get a breath into his lungs.

She didn't move.

He held her tightly, lifting his left hand to brush her cheeks. He stopped quickly at the sight of his arm… golden claws only able to caress her long hair. He tried to swallow — tried to speak her name again, but could not.

His entire body shuddered, but not from the cold. No, he could not feel it now.

"Vincent," a voice spoke.

But not from his arms. From ahead.

His wild eyes met younger blue ones in an instant, not afar off.

"She's gone."

He looked away from the child, trying not to shout at her. With a shaking breath, he pulled the sleeping woman closer to his chest, burying his face in her hair.

Why?

A bright green light clouded his vision more than the tears, and he looked down at her in grief. Her pale hands… her dress… hair… all dissipating in an emerald light.

"No…"

Her frozen, blue lips held the smallest of smiles as they, too, dissolved into the radiant green mist.

His fists slammed down into the rocky ground, throwing up a spray of water as the bright green light floated around the cavern for a moment. Presently, it disappeared, leaving him behind in darkness.

"Why…?" He growled, feeling the void deep inside him growing.

He did not bother getting up. The cold water around his knees and arms had already numbed them to a point where he could not feel anything. What did any of it matter anymore?

Shelke stood without moving only a few yards away, watching the sorrow wash over the man. She was itching to return to Edge, to a warm bed… but she quickly scolded herself for such thoughts.

Vincent was in pain. She was needed here — even if he would never admit it.

Yet… suddenly, the realization flooded her senses...

"Vincent…"

Still on his knees with curled fists on the ground, she was unable to see his lowered face. She took several steps forward, crouching down a few feet away from him.

"Vincent… do you understand?"

She did not receive a reply, but she saw his shaking fingers uncurl a bit.

"Do you understand why she did this?"

"Do you?" He spat back at her, his voice deep and bitter.

"After all she did to keep you alive…"

He winced as she unknowingly repeated what his only love had already spoken.

"...She wants you to _live, _Vincent." Shelke stepped closer, a bit nervously. "She wants you to live, knowing that… someday, you can return to her. In the Lifestream."

She watched as his shoulders continue to shake, and she began to worry as she saw the ice forming on his wet hair. With a deep breath, she swallowed before answering.

"I'll have you know I'm not leaving until you do," she started.

He saw only the ground in his line of vision, but he could sense her sad smile in her voice. He shivered pitifully as old memories flashed before his eyes.

Their place underneath that tree… She'd always had a smile for him there, no matter what work had been like that day.

The way her face lit up when she saw him… It had made working in the grim manor a lot more bearable.

Her eagerness — that energy she tapped into when she had found something big… She was always happy when she was working… and he was always watching over her.

But what of the emptiness — that hollowness inside his chest… would it ever disappear? Certainly not completely. And what of the cold, the piercing chill the ran through him regardless of the temperature?

"…and Tifa and Cloud are expecting me soon." Shelke continued. "I wouldn't want them to worry."

For some reason… it dulled as the young girl spoke of their friends.

…What choice did he have other than to go on?

"And there's a heater, of course…" Her voice held stressed emotion.

With a jagged breath, he looked up to her for only a moment as he sat straighter. Hair dripping and skin a deadly white, he hung his head only slightly from his weakness.

"Then you will have to help me up," he finally growled.

——

FIN.


End file.
